Middle Mini (Postpartum, Comparison, and Gratitude)

For today’s episode, I’m sitting down solo to share what I’m truly in the middle of right now, from postpartum changes to finding a rhythm with working and motherhood. I talk honestly about body image, sleep, comparison, and the gratitude that helps me stay grounded with God in a busy season. Let me know if there’s any topics you’d want to hear about for future Middle Mini episodes! And tune in next week for a new episode with a special guest!


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Transcript

Welcome To A Solo Mini

SPEAKER_00 0:05

Hey guys, welcome back to In the Middle of It. This is a middle mini episode where it's just little old me sitting here talking to you. I'm still getting used to just talking to a camera. I'm picturing you. As I'm looking at this camera, I'm picturing you. But it is kind of weird to just set up a camera and be like, I'm gonna talk to you now for 10 minutes, you know? Um, it's good. It's good. I think it's good. I don't know. It sounds fun to me to just be a little more in the moment, real time, tell you what's going on in my world, what God's teaching me, all of that just right here, right now, you know? Anyways, next week we'll be back to having a guest, and it's gonna be a good one. Let me tell you, it's gonna be a good one. So tune in next Wednesday. But for this Wednesday, you get me, just me. So welcome back to In the Middle of It. Today I'm gonna be telling you what I'm in the middle of. Because I'm always asking all the guests, what are you in the middle of? But in case you were wondering, Hannah, what are you in the middle of? Let me tell you. I would love to tell you. So um right now I'm in the middle of so many things, which I think we all are. And it's so funny to look back at what I was in the middle of, like when we started this podcast versus season two. And I mean, this podcast has really seen me through the journey because when we started the podcast, I wasn't even pregnant yet. Then I got pregnant with Owen, then it followed me through. I mean, y'all, in those last like two to three episodes of season one, your girl was pregnant. I look back and I'm like, wow, when they talk about pregnancy nos, I had it, you know? Humbling, humbling to look back and realize, but you know, I love her because she was carrying a baby, and that is what it is.

Postpartum Body Changes And Surgery

SPEAKER_00 2:09

Actually, that's something that I'm in the middle of. The kind of a deep way to begin this podcast, or maybe just a vulnerable way, I don't know. But to be honest, I'm in the middle of just how much being a mom, pregnancy, postpartum, the whole journey just really changes your appearance. And maybe that sounds as sounds kind of like shallow, but I feel like it is just something that I'm in the middle of. When you're pregnant, your body like changes so much, so fast. And I feel like I woke up at like 24 weeks pregnant and was like there's a baby in there, like a whole baby, like there is my abdomen is a globe, you know, which was crazy. Um, and then it just kept growing from there. And there are so many things that change when you're pregnant, and it changes so fast, like the way you look and how you feel, and whatever. And then you give birth to a child, and then your whole body changes from there. It's like you go from being swollen and just feeling so large to then recovering from, you know, I had Owen naturally and recovering from that. But if like you have a C-section or whatever, I mean your body's like recovering from a lot. And so that's a whole thing, that whole journey, which I never knew until I became a mom. I actually sent a text to my sister-in-law and was like, I'm so sorry that I did not know what you were going through because this is so crazy. Like when people come to see the baby and they're like, Oh my goodness, it's a baby, like he's so cute. And I'm like, Yeah, he is. And also, I'm literally like a piece of who I was. Like, not in a bad way, but just like my body is in shambles, okay? Shambles. Um, just such a weird experience that I never understood until I walked through it. And then I don't think I've ever talked about this like on social media or on the podcast or anything, but after I had Owen, I had to get my gallbladder removed. Did you know what a gallbladder is? Do you know? I really didn't, to be honest. Um, it's an organ in your body, it's an organ that aids in digestion. And apparently, pregnancy slows all your digestion down, and your gallbladder sometimes creates stones. And then once you're not pregnant anymore and everything gets back to normal, then the stones move and it hurts. So, anyways, I had all these gallbladder issues for months and months, and my doctor was like, I think you've tried everything to change your diet and to make this better, and it's not working, so you need to get it removed. So I had gallbladder surgery in December, major, well, not major, but like an abdominal surgery that required like, you know, four to six weeks of recovery. So that also changed my body because I was going through all this digestive issues and I lost all this weight because I'm nursing Owen and also had surgery. So it's just a crazy time in the past like year. I just feel like my body has been through so much. And it's also an odd thing. This is just kind of for free here, but like it's just an odd thing, I think, when people comment on that. Like, I don't know, I'm in the middle of learning how to graciously just respond and be like, yeah, you know, I look different, and that's okay, you know. Anyways, the whole postpartum journey with the way that things change and your body looks different is a journey that I'm sure many moms understand, and things are just different, and that's okay. But I'm in the middle of learning to love what God has given me in my body, and just the fact that my body was able to grow and deliver and nourish a baby for it's been like almost, you know, it's been 10 months. So it's just crazy. 19 months of like growing and nourishing a baby is a long time, and I'm so thankful I've been able to, but anyways, just been in the middle of learning how to be gracious and kind to myself in my body. So just just wanted to start with a little vulnerability for the kids, you know.

Recording A Third Album

SPEAKER_00 6:36

Okay, also I'm in the middle of finishing up my third album. Yay! I've been writing every Wednesday, sometimes more, but for the most part, writing once a week. Um, just been so excited to share new music with you, and we're recording it now. So I'm in the middle of recording it and watching these songs be um brought to life, and it's just amazing. It's been so fun, and I'm so excited. This album is my favorite I've ever made. I'm sure every artist says that, but I really mean it. It's so special. Um, there's songs about prayer and being a mom and what it looks like when your prayers get answered exactly as you thought, and then what it looks like when they don't get answered or don't get answered like you thought. It's just an album that I'm really excited to share with you. So that's coming out sometime. I don't know when. Your guess is as good as mine, but we're working on it now. So I'm really excited about that. What else am I in the middle of?

Sleep Deprivation Reality Check

SPEAKER_00 7:34

We are in the middle of like mild sleep deprivation, honestly. I feel like I've talked about this a good bit, but I'm just really tired. I think that being a mom, the thing that I underestimated the most was how hard it would be to exist on little sleep. I've always been someone that loves sleep, but since being a mom, I'm like, whoa, sleep is really important for our well-being. And when we're not getting it, I I struggle with that for sure. So we have been trying everything to get Owen to sleep more. Um, I feel like it's getting better. I I think it is better for sure. We were kind of in the pit of despair like a few months ago, but it is getting better as he's getting older. So I am thankful for that. Um, we moved him to his own room. We're kind of late in the game to moving him to his own room. Like he slept in his crib, but in our room. And we finally were like, okay, we gotta move him into the nursery. Like he's gotta have a better chance to sleep, where we're not waking him up by like rolling or like the covers moving or get, you know, whatever, getting ready for bed. Like, I feel like we were waking him up. So he's sleeping in his own room, and you guys, he's sleeping really good, and I'm really glad for that. It's getting better. But yeah, just the sleep deprivation thing, I feel like I underestimated how hard that would be. And I feel like if you're not a parent, maybe that sounds a little bit complainy, but it really is hard. I don't know. I'm trying to just know that this season is not gonna last forever and just be thankful for it, you know. Okay,

Resisting Comparison With Gratitude

SPEAKER_00 9:12

another thing I'm in the middle of is yeah, okay, this is a big one for me. Resisting comparison. I feel like in any season of life, comparison is so easy to fall into. I feel like with being a mom, it's more than it's ever been for me. Like the temptation to compare is there more than it's ever been there before. There's so many things I feel like I find myself comparing, like my baby's milestones. Like, oh, my friend's baby rolled at three months and my baby rolled at six. Like, there's just comparison. But like before I became a mom, I didn't know anything about milestones. I didn't know anything about that. But now it's like, oh man, like, or so and so, you know, they don't breastfeed, so they have so much more freedom than I do. Or like, you know, they can go somewhere and not worry about being back three hours later, and then I'm breastfeeding, so then, you know, my life is a little bit more tied to a schedule, and I can't be away from Owen that much. And, you know, comparing that and then comparing like there are some moms that just they bounce back, they're like, okay, I had a baby, and one month later I'm out doing my thing, I'm hitting my reformer Pilates, I'm whatever. That just is not my journey. Okay. I quite literally cannot. Um, I have just been taking it a little slower, and since having Owen, it's harder for me to go out and just do all the things, you know, and I think that's okay. But comparison is so real in this season of my life, and I'm trying to resist it and just be grateful for where I am and what I have. I know that is easier said than done, but honestly, I do feel like gratitude has been a huge, just important piece in this season for me, more than it ever has before. Where it's just thank you, God, for this life. Thank you, God, for this house, for this baby, for my marriage, for my career that I have. Um, you know, just being grateful for where I am. Thank you, God, for this body that you've given me. Thank you, God, for um, the sleep that I do get. Thank you that I have family in town to help me. Like, there's so many things to be grateful for. And I think the enemy loves it when we focus on what we don't have and compare to everyone else and be like, well, they have this and I should have that. Or I don't know. I mean, that's literally like just a struggle I think that a lot of us face, and one that I have faced m like a lot of my life is just comparing to others and comparing my life and where I'm at. And so anyway, I'm trying to kind of resist that and just be grateful for what I have, which you know should be easy. It should be easy to be grateful because there is so much to be thankful for. We have so many blessings, but yeah, that's what I'm in the middle of too in a lot of ways. I feel like I don't know, I hope it's encouraging to you in some way, maybe, if you're going through a similar season, or even if you're not in a similar season, just to know like I'm a person and I have things that I'm going through, things that I'm in the middle of that aren't figured out. Um, I could go on and on. There's so much that I'm in the middle of right now, and I'm sure like you feel that way too, you know. But these are just some things that I'm in the middle of and wanted to share with you today.

Questions From Listeners And Goodbye

SPEAKER_00 12:44

So if there's other topics that you want to hear about, or if you have questions, I'd be happy to answer some of your questions in one of these episodes. We have some plans for episodes for the little middle mini episodes, but if there's anything specific you want to hear, let me know. And yeah, I love you guys so much. I'll see you next Wednesday for a new episode with a great guest. Stay tuned. Bye.